The change in cooler weather gives way to thoughts of the holiday season and, for some, gift giving woes. My gift-giving woe is traditionally what to do for my parents and in-laws. They have reached the stages in their lives when they want for nothing material and certainly do not need to clutter up their lives with many more things especially after we have spent time helping to downsize their possessions into something more manageable. What then can we give them to show we care? What gift will give them that moment of joy we yearn to see on their faces.
Most folks as they age put a lot more stock in relationships than things. Spending time with older loved ones is the number one wish on their lists. Now with the upsurge of Covid-19 spending quality time one-on-one may not be possible. Maybe it’s time to explore the long-forgotten art of picking up the phone and calling rather than texting. Having some talking points planned ahead can make your conversation more meaningful. Ask questions about getting to know them, the real person, not just the mother or father or great uncle you already know, but who they were as a child or a teenager, or what it was like serving in the military or what it was like in the era they were married. Find out what their favorite movie of all time is or who their first love was.
Even letter writing or daily journaling in your own life about what’s been happening over the past year and giving it to them to catch up on the little things we miss sharing in quick conversations can bring you closer together. If your parents or elderly loved one has kept up with technology even to some extent, there are now multiple virtual ways to interact with them and renew or strengthen your relationships. Focus on helping them create new memories with you or help to recreate for them special old memories. What better gift can you give?
Here are a few more ideas to get your creative juices flowing.
iPad or Tablet - Technology is alive and well in the gift-giving arena. Most baby boomers already own an iPad or Tablet, but if they don’t it might be time to invest in one for them so you video chat while opening gifts.
Digital Photo Frame - NixPlay is the number one digital photo frame on the market. Available online or through Best Buy, it offers Wi-Fi sharing of photos and videos across multiple connected frames. Check out their Buying Guide to choose the best product for your needs and then consider purchasing NixPlay Plus to get the whole family involved for sharing across multiple frames through their downloadable App. Price points can be prohibitive but consider getting the whole family to all chip in as a group gift.
Custom Photo Gifts - Shutterfly’s website is fairly User Friendly for creating photo gifts, and nothing is more meaningful than creating something useful that also has a photo which captured a special memory. Puzzles, Pillows, Mugs, Calendars, and Lap Blankets are just a few of the photo gift ideas they offer. Check out Shutterfly.com for more ideas. My son is a bit of an Adobe Photoshop whiz and likes to restore old worn out photos for his grandparents and then enlarge them in shiny new frames where they come alive again. Consider having a photo service help to create a photo collage of old photos on their wall all in black and white of either old family photos or of a favorite vacation or a favorite event. It will look stunning and allow them to revisit those memories every time the walk into the room.
Books, Kindles, and Reading Supplies - For those who love to read, we all know heading to the library is not really an option these days. Perhaps get them a Kindle to read downloadable books. If they already own a Kindle, I recommend an giving them an E-book, or an Unlimited Subscription, or a Kindle Caddy (a beanbag Kindle holder that gives your hands a rest) is especially great for those who suffer from arthritis; or simply an Amazon Gift Card to purchase more E-books of their own choosing. For those who prefer the real thing (an actual old-fashioned book) consider a Lighted Full-page Magnifier to make reading less strenuous on the vision challenged.
- Quality Time - It bears repeating that spending quality time together is always the number one wish on older folks wish lists. Number two is revisiting old memories. Consider setting a date for a virtual visit. Here are some ideas: Set a date for virtual dinner together. You could have something delivered to them and to yourself at a predetermined timeframe and enjoy a video chat while sipping some wine and enjoying a favorite take-out cuisine or maybe pizza and a beer is more to their liking. Better yet for those who know their way around the kitchen, choose a cuisine, choose a recipe, and cook your meals at the same time together first.
Virtual Events/Memberships/Classes - Perhaps you could set a date to watch a virtual Museum, Art Gallery, Zoo, or Theme Park tour. These websites have some of the best: https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/travel/a31784720/best-virtual-tours. ; https://www.theguardian.com/travel/2020/mar/23/10-of-the-worlds-best-virtual-museum-and-art-gallery-tours ; https://www.tasteofhome.com/article/free-virtual-tours/.
The idea is that no matter what personality type your older loved one is, keeping relationships alive by spending quality time with them is key. You just need to spend a few minutes deciding what are their favorite pastimes and how you can best engage in them along with them either in person or virtually to light up their faces with joy. I hope your holiday time together this year is more meaningful.